Dear Mr. President, sir,
I am Cadet Captain (CLASSIFIED!), and I am writing to you on behalf of the (CLASSIFIED!) High School Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps, located on (CLASSIFIED!) Highway, Stuart, Florida. We would ask of you, if it be convenient, that you be present for and speak at our 9/11 memorial service.
Though we regret that we have no campaign funds to give you in exchange for your precious time, perhaps we can help you in a different way. You need votes, sir. Many young people I know who are of voting age or will be of voting age as of the elections are on the fence as for whom to vote for. Perhaps a visit from one such candidate would swing their vote one way or another. There is a good chance you will get the majority vote in several voting districts as a result one or two days down here. If you will remember back to the 2000 presidential elections, Florida was the state that made if possible for former president George W. Bush to take office.
Another problem that is weighing against you is your apparent lack of respect for the military. There are various photos and rumors in circulation as to you not saluting flags on various occasions and having an apparent apathetical approach to military memorials. Think, sir, how much it will help if it were shown, with proper media coverage, that the president of the United States visited a lowly school for the sole purpose of honoring the victims of the 9/11 incident. You would win the hearts of military veterans nation wide, giving you several votes in many districts that would normally go Republican.
If you are of a mind to grace us with your presence on 9/11/2012, please contact either our Wing Commander, (CLASSIFIED!) at (CLASSIFIED!) or Retired Lieutenant Colonel (CLASSIFIED!) at (CLASSIFIED!).
Regards,
(CLASSIFIED!)
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I think a little more formality is in line in order for this letter to go the president. However, I do not agree wih Master_Yoda's complaints that the letter is too offensive to send to the president. Someone needs to give the president a touch of reality considering his lack of support of the military, the business community, as well as the religious community.Ie, forcing Catholic institutions to provide abortions. After making the letter more formal and less sarcastic, yet not losing the harsh tone, please send this to the President. I shall leave on the note that altough Romney isn't my favorite politician, he will make a better president than Obama. And also that if Romney has an intelligent bone in his body he will choose either Condi Rice or Sen. Rubio as his running mate.
Hey, brother!
As far as grammar goes, there isn't much wrong with this. However-
you probably should put the word 'of' after 'result'. An honest mistake. Also, I'm guessing that where it says "Classified!" you're just protecting your anonymity.
Please, whatever you do, don't send this letter to the president. Even to me, a Republican and a strong supporter of Romney in the coming election, this letter is highly offensive. The sheer arrogance contained in this letter would make me cut funding to your school if I were the recipient.
Firstly, in this letter of supplication it is impolite to try to claim that Mr Obama needs you. You need Mr Obama. Every paragraph should contain reasons that you would like to host Mr Obama, not reasons Mr Obama should want to be hosted by you.
Secondly, have you ever heard the expression "don't bite the hand that feeds you?" Well Mr Obama has tried, albeit largely unsuccessfully to conserve American lives and to remove American soldiers from danger. To insinuate that he does not respect the military is insulting to even me as a Republican.
Lastly, stop trying to sound fancy. Obama is an Ivy League graduate and him and all of those who read this letter will immediately see it for what it is: contrived and conceited.
Master Yoda, thank you. I understand that he does respect the military, but there is a large portion of people (many that I know) that don't think so as a result of the pictures circulating that I mentioned.
I was trying trying more to get a sense of "we could help you if you help us," not a "you need us," kind of thing. I hadn't thought of it that way. I'll re-write it and post it right away.
Stori, I'll fix that if it's still in there by the time I rewrite it XP